Point to Ponder
troubles!" Steve Bigoray
As many of you know I lost my 98yr old buddy
Steve on July 15th, 2011. He had been a delightful part of my life
when I moved out to Egremont from BC back in 2000. He and I
had so much fun, just talking and hanging out. He loved Irene when
she joined the family and would ask how she was if she wasn't out
here. One of the gifts he gave me was his family as part of
Every so often I would
pick up the phone and hear the words above. I would put on my coat
and boots (winter) or just head out the door to see what his
Sometimes they were
minor, like a blown fuse or the TV not working. Sometimes it was
something more serious like the sat dish out of alignment or his car
wasn't working right and we would have to wait until Kelly (his
grandson) came home from work. Most of the time it was a small thing
that, to a man in his 90's, were challenging; but to a younger man
(me) not so.
I was pleased to help him
and to do what I could for him. And I learned a few lessons along
1) Ask for
help. Steve was a very independent man but he learned that
he needed help and he learned to ask for it. One of the biggest
lessons I've learned in leadership is to ask for help and advice. I
am going to be asking for lots of help as I take on the leadership
of my CAPS Edmonton Chapter.
2) Accept the
help you ask for! Enough said. You don't always have
to heed the advice, but you can acknowledge those who offer
it. If you ask for help, be gracious and allow them to do so.
This honors them and helps build a solid relationship.
3) Return the favor. Where you
can, return the favor. When you can't, pass it forward. I remember
Steve's son Ron wanted to build a bigger garage. He and Kelly had
kept my car running well and I appreciated their help and
friendship. Kelly now helps keep all of our cars in good running
order. I remember telling Ron, "I don't know much about cars, but I
can swing a hammer." Ron and I would frame walls and when Kelly and
Steven came home we would put them up. Each day I look across the
lot and see the garage that we built together.
Picture: My friend Kelly
is working on her second book and I was pleased to contribute.
4) Keep in mind
your troubles may be smaller than you think. Often, to us,
each trouble can seem to be insurmountable. Sharing your concerns
can make a major difference in bringing them into perspective. Steve
and I talked about all sorts of things and often just talking helped
me see things in a different light. I have this kind of relationship
with my wife, Irene, and it helps me in many ways to be able to
openly talk about the various challenges in my life. She is a pretty
smart lady and I love her.
responsibility for your self. This can be a tough
one, but when we take personal leadership and responsibility we
begin to move ahead. Steve eventually decided he didn't want to
drive which made many of us relieved. When he had to go to pay
bills, he would suggest we take his car, and would then hand me his
Just had a bar-b-que on Monday and Steve's grandson Kelly, Christine
and now, one year old Alexa attended. We were joking that I would
now be able to call them when I had 'troubles' in 20 years or so.
Side note: You
can work through your troubles.
I have a young friend
going through a serious life challenge. For now, to him and his
mother, it seems daunting. I believe he has the strength to work
through it and regardless of the time it takes he can come out the
other side stronger and wiser. Life is not always easy and sometimes
we go through really ugly and tough times. Keep focused on the
future. Live day by day, hour by hour if needed. Reach out for help
where you can and take responsibility for working through it and
learning the lessons life is teaching you. And, love your mom who
wants to help but can't in this situation. She loves you, as do I,
and believes in you. Live up to her belief in your
Until next month.
Bob 'Idea Man' Hooey
PS: Steve is pictured here on is 97th
Archives of past issues are
available on our www.ideaman.net website.
September can be a stressful
month. Kids going back to school; summer is over, sigh; last long
weekend at the lake; back to work for real; etc.
My delightful friend Patricia
Morgan shared some insights on stress and how to relieve it. Thought
I would share it with you. Patricia was one of the first to join our
www.AlbertaSpeakers.com project when it was
launched. Patricia and I are both members of the Canadian
Association of Professional Speakers. She is the current President
of CAPS Calgary, I am President-elect of the Edmonton Chapter. Now,
there is no stress in leading a volunteer organization. Ok, I am
kidding... but you get the point. We all have stress and when we
learn to handle it better, we live healthier, happier lives.
Patricia is one of those who has learned this lesson and shares it,
and her hugs with everyone she meets.
I'll see Patricia on Sat. Sept
10th in Toronto when we are both attending the CAPS leadership
summit. I am looking forward to my hug.
Stress with 7 Lighthearted Tips
Hans Selye called healthy stress eustress and too much
stress distress. We need challenge or stress to survive, to
give meaning to our lives and a reason to get out of bed each
morning. It is best to discover that zone where enthused promptings
becomes DIS-STRESS and avoid going there. But, hey, we are humans
and often find ourselves in the pothole of despair, frustration and
Here are some light
hearted ideas to ease your internal
what you heard and saw when you first felt distress. Example: "My
boss told me, 'Your calculations are wrong. Redo the report.'" Now
make up an honest, creative or silly answer to this question. "Why
do you love this stress?" A possible answer is, "This gives me a
chance to redo the calculations with a built in raise for
TWO: Ask a
friend or support person to listen, without offering solutions. You
want to simply and loudly release your woes. Wallow, wail, whine,
groan and cry with exaggeration. Maybe the two of you will end up
THREE: Call on
your Inner Wisdom for some cheering up. I have an image of a little
red breasted robin that brings me some chirpy words. "Cheer up,
today will pass and tomorrow could be worse or better . . . and your
mother still loves you."
FOUR: Have a
soothing or fun song that you sing to yourself. One of my favorites
is "On a clear day, rise and look around and you will see who you
are. On a clear day how it will astound you, that the glow of your
being outshines every star."
Rewrite a rhyme or silly ditty. Here is revised version of
Mary Had a Little Lamb:
Suzy had a dis-stressful
Mistakes happened wherever she would go.
And no matter
where Suzy went
The parking meter man would
What other people think of me is
none of my business.
affirming self talk:
The road to success is paved with
If one person tells me I look like
a horse, forget it. If two people tell me I look like a horse, I
might want to pay attention to my behavior. If three or more people
tell me I look like a horse, it's time to check the price of
There's always somebody doing
better than me and somebody doing worse than me. At least I have
A weakness named can become a
"I think I can. I know I can,"
just like the Little Red Engine that Could.
Maybe the biggest joke of my life
is my seriousness. It must be an illusion of grandeur to imagine I
am so important.
SEVEN: A day
filled with too much stress warrants an extra dose of pampering: a
nap, chocolate, a bubble bath, a massage, a pedicure, movie and a
bag of popcorn.
Patricia Morgan is a speaker,
workshop leader and author of From Woe to WOW: How Resilient Women
Succeed at Work (http://www.FromWoeToWOW.org) She is a founding
member of the www.AlbertaSpeakers.com network. Contact her to help
your people become stress hardy at 403-242-7796,
PS: Pictured here is my new Pond
to Ponder...where I can go and relax and de-stress my life.
Wow, where has the summer
Got lots done this summer. Two e-books updated
and revised into reader format for Kindle, iPad, Kobo. Contributed
to two colleagues' books, updated some websites. Loads of work done
at our place in Egremont. Still spreading the 15.4 yards of gravel,
hope to have that done before the snow comes. Working on proposals
for client projects and work.
Pic: George and Lili Sidor (Irene's folks at our place in
- Sept 10-13th: Toronto
for the CAPS Leadership Summit.
- Sept. 17th:
- Sept 21-23rd: Calgary
for Media Mastery boot camp with Shawn Duperon
- Oct. 1st: CAPS Edmonton
with Toni Newman from Montreal.
Thanks for reading
Bob 'Idea Man' Hooey would be pleased
to be a part of your success team and to work with you to help
make your conference, meeting, or training event a larger
success. For more information about customized keynotes,
professional and personal leadership training and coaching, or
seminars/retreats, please visit http://www.ideaman.net or call our Creative Office
at: (780) 736-0009
Picture: 15.4 cubic yards
of gravel for the new parking pad. My cardio workout for 2011
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Bob is a professional speaker, author,
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Bob is the co-founder
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