Stop Struggling and Start Soaring

By Caterina Rando, MA, MCC

There is so much to do every day- pick up the dry cleaning, put gas in your car, get to the gym and still get your work done.  Often it can seem that life is full of struggle.  We struggle to find time to meet deadlines, get to bed at a decent hour, have time with our partner or children, and to find some time for ourselves.  

Get ready for a revelation- we create the struggle in our lives. We all have different Struggle Strategies that we unknowingly use in our lives that make things more difficult than they have to be.

There are lots of ways to significantly decrease if not eliminate struggle from your life.
Take a look at some of the different Struggle Strategies below. Then decide which one might be making things harder for you and make a change. 

Timing
One of the biggest causes of struggle in our lives is that we want what we want when we want it.  The perfect job, partner, or even leather couch may not arrive when it would be most convenient for you.  Things do not always come in the time frame we would prefer.  Stay focused on what you want and keep working at it, and often you will find, as the old adage goes – better late than never.

Values Change
What really mattered to you before: a prestigious position, an office close to your home, a partner who loves to salsa --might not matter to you any more.  If you are still living your life as if it did, you will be experiencing internal struggle.  Every so often, get clear about what matters to you now and what is no longer important to you.  Then begin to make midcourse adjustments.

Neglecting Yourself
Saying “yes” to a night on the town when you really want to sleep, taking on extra projects and giving up your weekends, eating frozen dinners three nights in a row because you have not made it to the store are all ways we put ourselves last.  When you make everything and everyone more important than you and your needs, you are depleting your energy and your joy.  Honor and treat yourself like a visiting VIP.  Put yourself first -- make yourself a priority in your life.  You will love it.

Expectations
We often expect ourselves and others to get so much done, so quickly, or to complete everything perfectly.  When things do not go the way we expect them to, we can stress out.  Recognize that you and everyone else may make mistakes and that other people will not always do things the way you would do them.  When you recognize the world will not always act according to your predetermined script, you will be a lot happier. 

New Priorities- Old Life
Our priorities change.  There might have been a time when all that mattered was your career or your family or vice-versa.  You created a life to reflect those priorities.  When your priorities change, your life has to change to reflect those new priorities.  Ask yourself if your day-to-day life reflects your priorities?  If not, make some shifts.

Doing it All
Yes, you are competent and capable.  That does not mean that you need to do everything yourself. That would overwhelm and drain you.  Create support in your life.  What do you really not like to do?  If you can’t stand doing laundry, writing proposals, doing your taxes, running errands, create a strategy to get it handled another way.

No Fun
Sure you might take a vacation or two every year, still, that is not enough. Life is a lot better when you are having some fun everyday.  Take a mini vacation every day.  Find a short period of time daily to have a great time, take in lunch on the lake, a skate in the park, twenty minutes with your favorite novel, a dance around your living room.  Enjoy yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.

Hard Time
Stop being so hard on yourself. Acknowledge all your accomplishments.  Don’t always focus on what you haven’t accomplished yet. Be proud of yourself and find ways every day to give yourself credit. Be easy with yourself. Focus on what you have, not on what is missing. Practice being grateful.

Envy
You will turn green thinking about what everyone else has, how easy they have got it, how everything just seems to fall in their lap. Green is not a very attractive color on a person.  When you see all the success and prosperity in other people’s lives, take it as an affirmation that the world is abundant and there are plenty of good things coming your way.  Then put your attention back on your life and figure out how you are going to get what you want.

Simply recognizing which Struggle Strategy you are using will make things easier for you.  Start to see what else you can do to bring more ease and enjoyment to your life. Begin to live your own definition of La Dolce Vita (the sweet life).

Copyright 2002 Used by permission of author Caterina Rando, MA, MCC, is the author of "Learn to Power Think," and a keynote speaker and success coach. She helps people invigorate their professional and personal lives and create the results they want. To find out more, visit http://www.caterinar.com. Caterina can be reached at 800-966-3603 or by email at cpr@caterinar.com.

Article courtesy of Bob ‘Idea Man’ Hooey and Ideas At Work! www.ideaman.net