The Power of ‘YES’!

By Al Borowski, CSP

One word that should become part of every manager’s vocabulary is the word, yes.

This is particularly true when you are communicating with groups of employees.  This is a different spin on the management adage, Compliment people in public, correct in private.

For example, if one of your employees says to you, “thank you for those insights.  I can use them at work and in my personal life.  I know I can apply this in my relationships with my husband and children.”

I recommend the next word from your mouth to be, yes.  “Yes, I think you've hit upon something there.”

Positive affirmations not only verify the importance of your message, but also bring practical application to other employees.  Remember the E. F. Hutton commercial?  Everyone else around that person hears a positive message coming from one of their peers.

Saying ‘Yes’ to employee’s comments shows that you care about them, you value their opinions and insights, and that you welcome their participation as part of your team.  This all helps build rapport with employees.

On the other hand, if one of your employees disagrees with you, this is a great opportunity for you to try build rapport and a relationship with that person even though you don't agree.  It also gives you a second chance to discuss your side of the issue without a debate or hard feelings.

I use a technique I call Reflect - Respect - Respond. For example, if an employee were to say to you, “I don't think this would work in my job.” Rather than engaging in a debate or trying to sell that person on your idea, repeat what you heard to that person. “You don't think this would work with what you do?” That's the Reflecting part. You have proven to the employee that you were listening. And, this shows that you value the person and that his or her input is important.

After Reflecting what the person says, use the Respect component. Rather than immediately defending your position or putting that person on the defensive, validate what that person has said. Let the employee know his or her feelings or thoughts are not unknown or unreasonable. You could say something like, "Others who had your job felt the same way. They didn’t feel comfortable with these ideas either.”

The most important part of the Respecting technique is that you are sincere with the comment. This sincerity comes from empathy for your employees.  If you are not sincere when you use the Respecting component, you can do more harm than good.

Then your Response could then be, “Indeed, I have had many of those same people come back to let me know they tried to techniques and that they worked.“

One important word you should avoid this the Reflect - Respect - Respond technique is, but. As soon as you use the word, but, it cancels the message you said before it.

For example, if you Reflected and Respected properly and then said, “But, I have had many of those same people come back to let me know they tried to techniques and that they worked, you have negated that person's feelings.” ‘Bu’t, in this instance, becomes as powerful in a negative sense as the word, no. Simply drop the word, but.

Reflect - Respect - Respond. This is a three step strategy that, when practiced, puts a positive spin on a negative situation and sometimes helps you communicate on a higher level and gain a lot of respect. 
    
Read Only Copyright 2002 Al Borowski, MEd, CSP, Used with permission of copyright holder. Al Borowski is a Certified Speaking Professional who works with business professionals and organizations who want to increase productivity and profitability though focused employee development. Contact him at 412-561-7628 or visit his website at www.alborowski.com to learn the business communication skills Tip of the Decade. 

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