De-Stress Yourself - When life gets you down, turn it around
By Audrey Pihulyk
Stress is a word that is often used today in a variety of contexts today. We may talk about job stress, stress of retirement, of exercise, of family problems, or even of traffic tie ups. Stress is experienced even though in many different situations. Think, for example, of a wife who deals with the daily challenges of caring for her husband with Alzheimers, or the bus driver whose route takes him through the busy center of a large city. Even though their situations are different, both experience stress producing factors or stressors which make demands on them physically and emotionally.
However, enjoyable activities such as planning a wedding or giving birth to a baby can also produce stress. Hans Selye, the father of stress research defined stress as "the non-specific response of the body to any demand made upon it." Stress then, can be either positive or negative. Positive stress, or healthy stress, can be challenging yet joyful, while negative stress if not treated, can be destructive. Every day we are faced with the issues that challenge us, whether they be family, job, financial or environmental issues. 
The majority of us start the day preparing for work where we spend about twenty-five percent of our adult life. Remember the saying, "Find a job you love and you’ll never work another day in your life." Unfortunately, there are job stresses that can undermine the job we love and so make it a stress producer. 
Having trouble getting along with the boss ranks near the top of the list of job stressors. Some of the problems may be caused by personality conflicts and possibly by miscommunication over projects and deadlines. Depending on the severity of the issue, one can always consider leaving the job, but there are alternatives. Understanding and then developing strategies to help diffuse these conflicts may at least bring some relief. 
Developing clearly written guidelines concerning projects and deadlines may also help avoid misunderstandings. Finally, as a way of keeping the peace you could decide to go with the flow, making adjustments as necessary. 
Inadequate job skills is another issue that could cause job stress. Having a clear understanding of what job skills are lacking and getting the required training to compensate for this is an important step towards job satisfaction and the reduction of stress. Are your time management and organizational skills adequate? As employees, being aware of our options and what action we can take empowers us to deal more successfully with the stresses in the workplace. 
Some family dynamics that can produce stress include, births, deaths, illnesses, separations, divorce and the care of aging parents. How these are handled between husband and wife can increase or decrease the incidence of stress. As we all know, they were raised differently, each developing their own priorities and patterns of behaviour, so it is understandable that the greatest area of family stress comes from the interactions between them. 
Heavy demands are made on our time, energy and financial resources by pressing family obligations. Not only are there immediate family matters to tend to, but the social obligations of children, community and friends take a further toll on our already stretched resources. 
Financial problems can also be a major contributor to stress. Some precautions can be taken to alleviate or reduce stress by living within one’s means, putting money aside for emergencies, cutting back on some luxuries, and by doing some wise shopping. 
The thoughts that we entertain can also add to our stress level. Our minds are powerful entities and act as rudders that direct our emotions and actions. Some irrational thoughts a person may have concerning their job can come in the form of perfectionism, fear of error, authoritarian attitude, low self esteem, the need to be continually affirmed and misplaced job expectations. When we nurture these illogical thoughts hormones are released which have negative effects on both our emotional and physical well being. 
Unfortunately, irrational thoughts also extend into family and social life causing conflict. Thoughts that others are being unfair and are excluding us in decision making, or that our ego is not bring stroked when we need it. Notice that these irrational thoughts are narcissistic. It is said that a person wrapped up in themselves makes a pretty small package. 
We need to develop healthy coping skills to deal with these stress-producing thoughts. The first step is to admit to the irrational thoughts and take responsibility for them and for your subsequent actions. Accept yourself as you are, while at the same time realizing your limitations. Reduce your expectations of yourself and others, reject perfectionism and the temptation to sit in judgment. All of this involves risk taking, a necessary component for change. 
With the effort to changing irrational thoughts comes the need for a "Stress Action Plan." When faced with an immediate stressful situation, stop what you are doing, clear your mind of all thoughts, identify the irrational thoughts that precipitated the stress and replace them with more realistic ones.
 A rather effective strategy for immediate release of stress is called the "Quieting Reflex.” Upon becoming aware that something is getting on your nerves, keeping your eyes open, say a word, such as, "relax," then smile a little. Next, tell yourself to have an alert, amused mind, calm body and inhale an easy, deep abdominal breath, letting your jaw and shoulders go limp, while feeling the weight of heaviness and warmth flowing the tension right out of your body. The type of stress relieving strategy used is not important as long as it works for you.
When it seems that life is getting the upper hand, you can turn it around and reduce stress by taking control of the situation, relaxing and developing effective coping strategies. ______________________________________________________________________
© Copyright 2001 Audrey Pihulyk is a “humour-cilator” who speaks at conventions and organizations on “Winning Strategies for Life”. To book Audrey to speak at your next meeting email audrey@possibilitiesnetwork.com,  through her web site, www.possibilitiesnetwork.com , or call 1-866-484-2197 Used with permission of Author.
Article courtesy of Bob ‘Idea Man’ Hooey and Ideas At Work! www.ideaman.net 
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